Lips like Blood
by EditionsOfYou
Summary: After Ayaka's engagement with Eiri is broken off, Ayaka goes on a journey of personal development and rediscovers love and her sense of self-worth from an unexpected source. Ayaka/Mika
1. Chapter 1

Thank you for clicking onto my third Gravitation story. I thought it would be a fun and interesting challenge/ experiment to attempt to write a fiction like this as I have a great deal of respect for both these characters, and as Mika and Ayaka are the main two female leads in the Gravitation story …so frankly there are not many other options for fem/slash , right?

And don't worry, I will update The Reading List and the Transparency series very soon, if anybody is following those particular stories. Thank you for your patience there!

This story features many of the themes that Gravitation contains- conflicted famly dynamics, diverse sexualities, mentions of homophobia, sexism, mentions of sexual harassment, etc. Ratings might go up.

* * *

The frenetic music blared from inside the club house, amongst the chatter from the loiterers ouside it - all those who was trying to scalp last minute tickets, merchants and the smokers in the doorway.

Ayaka Usumi was amongst them but she did not consider herself one of them.

And what ,Ayaka thought desolately , panting, leaning against the wall, her florescent club band cutting off the circulation on wrist, what on earth was she going to do with herself now?

It was darker than when she came in. (In more than one way than one?), and here, at night, she looked especially out of place. She wasn't the nocturnal clubbing, concert-going kind, and being surrounded by those types only made that difference further glaringly apparent. At least she was out though, in the open air. It had been so stuffy in there. She was thristy. Dizzy. Would she faint again? She did not like crowds. This crowd in particular unsettled her, with their strangely vacuous sounding laughter and their inscrutable shadowy faces. At least, there was more space and her sweater was warm enough for a moment. But how long could she stand there like this. Different? Unnoticed. Unwanted. Like refuse.

At that moment, a ember red Lamborghini screeched to the front curb, prompting some 'ooo's from nearer passersbys.

Then, the window had, with what seemed like deliberate slowness, rolled down.

Ayaka's eyes cleared and she saw a face emerge under from the glancing street light.

It was Mika Seguchi behind the wheel.

The older woman leaned forward, and called out. " Need a ride?"

After only a moment of heistation, Ayaka had nodded and gotten in the passenger seat.

* * *

Ayaka did not want to cry again but she's already on the verge of it.

She especially does not want to cry in front of her present company.

" But Shuichi Shindou … truly does care for Eiri. And Eiri… wishes to be with him. … I must respect that decision." Ayaka manages to say, with what's left of her composure.

Mika stares skeptically at her from across the table.

"Ultimately." Ayaka whispers. " I just want …. Eiri to be happy. We both do."

"Yes . We both do. But frankly, I think Eiri is making a very poor decision." Mika says matter-of-factly.

The older woman proceeds to pour more tea for the both of them.

"A decision-"

Ayaka tearfully watches the tea trickle delicately from the spout.

" That is not conducive to any sense of security or long-term happiness-" Mika murmurs fixedly on the cups.

"But … he must do what he is best for himself Mrs. Seguchi" Ayaka interjects in a trembling voice.

Mika looks up.

Her expression is dour.

"Oh really?" Mika lilts. " Do you think so?"

Ayaka's mouth clamps shut.

" Yes. I suppose Eiri must do what he _thinks_ is best for himself. After all, Eiri is an adult. Physically anyways. " Mika clears her throat.

Ayaka looks at her surrounding and reminds herself where she is.

She's in Mika and Tohma's penthouse apartment.

Furthermore, she shouldn't interrupt her host.

After all, Mika was kind enough to pick her up. Although it had been a terribly awkward car ride. Mostly because it had been silent except for her occasional sniff. Ayaka had fixed her head towards the window to hide her tears. Meanwhile Mika had been pretending not to notice her crying for the sake of sparing her dignity.

But if, she had dignity, Ayaka thinks, she would not be here in the frist place.

Ayaka then recalls the night's earlier events which led her here.

Tonight, Eiri had taken her to see his lover Shuichi Shindou perform at the clubhouse. There, before his performance, Shuichi had screamed in front of all the world that Yuki was all his.

Not her's.

All his.

No contest. There never was.

Unable to bear this humiliation, Ayaka had stammered an excuse about needing to use the ladies room, and instead had gone to stand outside alone.

No one had followed her.

The tea cup beneath Ayaka is already wobbling again with her tear blinded vision.

" Yes... well...Thank you …for picking me up and taking me here. I was … at a loss. I didn't know where else to go. " The younger woman gingerly takes the cup into her hand.

"There's no need to thank me." Mika says.

"May I ask h-how did you know where I was ?" Ayaka cringes.

"My brother called me. He informed me that… you ah… " Mika's brow flexes. "might need a lift."

"Oh." Ayaka utters.

Why had Eiri called Mika to pick her? Why not someone else? Or a taxi to go directly back to the station?

She wish Eiri had done that instead. Given her current state, she cannot bear to look Mika or anyone in the face directly.

After a moment, Mika sighs again. "Ayaka."

Ayaka looks up, red eyed.

Mika says. " It is important that you know …that this wasn't your fault."

Hearing that is the tipping point.

Ayaka drops her cup.

It spills all across the sofa.

"Oh no!" Tears roll down the younger woman's cheeks freely. " I'm so very sorry Mrs. Seguchi. I can't believe I just did that- I'm such a klutz!"

"Its fine. " The older woman immediately steps into action. "It's a dark leather sofa. It won't stain. It will wipe off."

In a flurry of activity, they both simultaneously grab for a nearby napkin.

Their hands touch.

Ayaka for some reason, quickly withdraws her hand, probably to conceal another burbling sob.

Mika swiftly snatches the napkin and leans over the table to mop up the spill.

Ayaka falls face frist into her hand. "Oh my goodness. I'm so sorry."

"Please. The sofa doesn't matter Ayaka. There's no point in getting upset over it. All that matters is that did any of the tea get on you?" Mika frowns as she cleans the remnants away. " The water was hot."

" No- Its fine , I didn't get any on me. I rather it did spill on my legs, than on your furniture. I'm really sorry. You shouldn't be cleaning this up, I should, I made the mess!" Ayaka attempts to stand.

"No, its fine. Its very minor. Its an old sofa anyways. You just sit and collect yourself." Mika instructs her.

Could this day be any worse? Ayaka thinks.

Now Mrs. Seguchi must be angry at me. Or even angrier than before rather.

Not only am I not marrying her brother, she thinks, now I just spilled tea over their nice sofa.

Ayaka bursts into tears again.

Mika looks up at her confoundedly. She takes back the tea-soaked napkin and throws it on the tray.

"I'm sorry that I 'm such a mess Mrs. Seguchi… I can't do anything right. " Ayaka chokes. "This is so very embarrassing."

The older woman simply hands her a clean napkin.

"I just feel… so terrible. I blame myself." Ayaka's words pour forth from her uncontrollably. "This failed engagement is all _my_ fault. Everything is my fault- and I've done so many stupid things lately, too many to mention. And to tell you the truth, I don't even know why I did them! "

Mika doesn't say anything. She simply sits back, as if steeling herself for more.

"Like I decided to leave home by myself to come to Tokyo, even though I didn't know what I was doing and … then I got lost, and I was all alone … I was even harassed in a park by two scary men… luckily I was rescued about Mr. Shindou and his friend, but I think… what if I hadn't?! And then finally when I did find Eiri again, instead of making an good impression, I fainted in front of him like a fool ! And when I did summon the courage to speak my heart to and confess my true feelings to your brother, I found out that he- oh - that he- belonged to another person all along and it was all for nothing! And now I can't stop crying. I don't know what's wrong with me. …I'm just so stupid!" Ayaka wipes her face frantically.

No. Ayaka" " Mika reassures her. "I should be the one to apologize to you. This… crying is probably just accumulated stress of everything that happened during this visit. The fault for this outcome is mine…. I should have taken better care of you when you arrived. Frankly, everything else -except the fact that you're safe and sound, is trivial and unimportant."

The younger woman shakes her head rapidly. "No. It isn't. This was my fault - How could you have done anything for me? I didn't even tell you or anyone else I was coming here! I didn't want to because I didn't want anyone to put ... put pressure on Eiri...or get everyone involved... I just wanted it to remain simply between him and I. And that's why your brother Tatsuha had to come all the way from Kyoto to find me and I know I caused a lot of trouble for your whole family and worry for my own! That's was another stupid thing I did!"

"You shouldn't have felt the need to come yourself, or come at all. " Mika 's gaze lowers. " I should have… taken care of that matter. I should have introduced you and Eiri sooner and in better circumstances."

"Its very nice of you to say but I was never good enough for Eiri in the first place! " Ayaka bawls into her (now) ragged balled up napkin.

"Please don't say that. You mustn't take what happened here to heart or allow this incident to shake your confidence. You're a very kind and accomplished young lady." Mika replies . "I don't understand why anyone would refuse you."

"I know perfectly why-! I behaved so awfully and immaturely that's why! "Ayaka whimpers. "I… even… struck Mr. Shindou! I still don't even understand why I did that! I've never …hit anyone before in my life! At the time, I just felt so…upset and panicked and humiliated…it just sort of happened.."

"Ayaka. Not that I condone that sort of outburst but…" Mika looks increasingly impatient at this emotional display. " But I do understand… it was a very stressful and… unprecedented situation. You were… in fact Eiri's fiancée, and to find out … what you did… in the manner that you did, would be very shocking and upsetting to any woman in your circumstances. I am sure … in light of that, Mr. Shindou has already forgiven your reaction."

"No . Even if he did forgive me, it didn't matter. I cannot forgive myself. A lady does not act that way. There's never any excuse for kind of that behavior, because at that moment, I showed my true colors - and I proved I was unworthy to be your brother's wife … or anybody's wife! Its no wonder Eiri choose Mr. Shindou because Mr. Shindou has a very good heart. He and his friend Hiro helped me when I was being bothered, even though they didn't know who I was. Also I know he would never done such a thing or raised a hand to me in a similar situation. In fact Mr. Shindou once learning I was his fiancée , brought me to Eiri because he thought it was the right thing to do, and because he only wanted what was best for Eiri. That's the kind of person Eiri deserves. A person who cares for his happiness above all else . " Ayaka weeps. "And if only you could see how your brother looks at him … I'd know you'd agree with me."

Mika blinks.

She looks surprised at that statement.

"That and… if I am honest with myself, I was never was a suitable match in the first place… I'm not beautiful or sophisticated or accomplished enough for Eiri . Eiri could have anyone he wanted…so why would he want a selfish stupid girl like me?" Ayaka sniffs.

"Please. Don't talk that way about yourself." Mika flicks out her manicured hand. "There's no use denigrating yourself, or blaming yourself for Eiri's choice, or comparing yourself to his... friend - its not fair to yourself to do that- you were after all his fiancée-in my mind, you still are."

"No. Truly ." Ayaka hiccups. " I couldn't compare myself to anybody and I was never entitled to anything. I think that was another reason I was so upset and… mortified about being … rejected …because I knew I always knew in my heart that I never stood a chance. Not in your family. How could I… I mean look at you!"

Mika's brow raises up. "In what regard?"

" I mean _compared _to you and the others in your family. Your entire family are so … tall, impressive and intelligent and good looking…" Ayaka whispers. "You especially. I'll admit when I was younger …I was always taken aback by you. A bit afraid of you even Mrs. Seguchi.…"

Mika looks skeptical again. " You wouldn't be the first. But why?"

" This is even more embarrassing to admit. "Ayaka ducks her head down, her shoulders hunching over, and blushes. "I always thought you were one of the most… beautiful and intelligent women I've ever seen. It was…quite… intimidating to be around you. Being such a average plain jane myself."

"Well , I think that's complete bullshit." Mika replies matter-of-factly.

Ayaka's mouth drops open .

She's never heard Mika swear infront of anyone.

Mika seemingly ignores her shocked expression and says. "However going to back to the subject. I am very sorry it didn't work out darling."

Ayaka eyes widen disbelievingly at that.

Mika has never used a term of affection towards her before ether.

" What I mean is… you're a… very sweet pretty desirable girl from a prestigious family. In truth, you're a prize." Mika continues. "You were certainly more than a good enough match for Eiri, and I know you truly care for him. The fact that you took it upon yourself to come out all this way to seek him out, tells me that. I could have trusted that you would have done what's best for him too, as he certainly doesn't know what's best for himself. Eiri's current … companion may be… well-meaning I suppose, but my little brother needs more than that. He needs someone who is stable, nurturing and proper. Someone with a clear future ahead of them and who embodies family values. You fit that description perfectly."

Ayaka places her hands in her lap . "Then I'm sorry that you disappointed you in every respect."

" No. You haven't. " Mika grits. "Its not _you_ I'm disappointed in."

After saying that, her perfectly painted red lips twist, and her long lashed eyes flicker downwards.

"Are… you… alright Mrs. Seguchi?" Ayaka asks concernedly.

Mika looks up. "Why do you ask."

"I … just got the sense that you… felt sad." Ayaka speaks hesitantly. "Forgive me if that was too forward to say."

Mika looks bemused. "Now why should my feelings concern you Ayaka?"

"Why?" Ayaka gapes. "Because you are… important to me."

"I'm important to you? Why?" A strange and not-pleasant smirk oozes across the older woman's face. " Because I'm Eiri's sister? Or because a member of Nittle Grasper is my husband?"

" Um. No. " Ayaka is startled by that remark. "Not that… but because I have known you for a long time and I cannot help but… care about how you feel… of course."

Mika looks even more dryly incredulous at that.

Then, as if inwardly verifying the statement for its truthfulness or deciding that matter irrelevant entirely, Mika leans back in her seat.

"Very well." Mika clears her throat." That being the case, may I be candid with you for a moment Ayaka?"

Ayaka nods . "I would … be very glad if you did so."

"I am very sorry about this outcome. I 'm … actually quite angry at myself. I did not mean for you to get hurt by this arrangement, or … even risk your safety, or raise your expectations only to disappoint you, I truly wanted this to work out seamlessly. Not only for my brother's sake." Mika states quielty. " I did…have my own… selfish reasons for wanting you in our family."

Ayaka asks curiously. "What … do you mean by that Mrs. Seguchi?"

"I mean by that… all my life, I've always been surrounded by men, and … complicated men at that. Men who in their complexity never bothered to care to understand my position." Mika crosses her legs . "As you know, our mother passed when we were all young."

"Yes. I do know." Ayaka says meekly. "I'm so sorry about that."

Mika seems to ignore that too.

" So…" Mika continues softly. "I never felt as if I had enough of a feminine influence in my life. Often I felt, to put it simply… outnumbered… struggling against all the masculine overbearing personalities in my family, while trying to hold my own and at the same time, and take care of all of them. I found it all to be exhausting… at times . So… a feminine refuge, where I could relax, and… be … myself and unguarded, was always something that … I…personally craved."

Ayaka tilts her head perplexed.

Mika moistens her red lips. "Do you understand my meaning?"

Ayaka struggles. "I think so. I was… to be…"

"To be that refuge for me, yes. Part of arranging you and Eiri's marriage was driven by a selfish need of mine as well. You could say I always wanted a sister." Mika says frankly.

Ayaka's mouth falls open again.

Mika mutters. "Do forgive me. That was too forward of me to say."

"No. Its fine. Actually I'm really glad you just said that. I think… I… understand." Ayaka looks at her hands folded in her lap. "It must …have been very difficult to grow up without a mother…and be the only girl in the family? And have to try and take care of two little brothers too? I mean.. I can't even imagine the pressure , and what that must have been like… but I imagine it must have been lonely sometimes too.."

When Ayaka looks up, Mika's dark gaze at her is unwavering.

Almost unnervingly so.

"I mean… I .. never had a sister either- and I always wanted one too." Ayaka says bashfully.

"Did you." Mika stares.

"Um. Yes. " Ayaka nods shyly. "Part of why I am so sad about everything… was because… I was looking forward to being part of your family and getting to know you better- and finally having a sister of my own for once."

Mika considers that statement after a moment.

"Well. Even though Eiri and you didn't work out… it doesn't mean we can't be friends and sisters, does it Ayaka?"

Ayaka stares back.

" Would you like that?" Mika adds on pointedly.

"Oh! Yes… I would ! I would like to be your sister and your friend!" Ayaka agrees adamantly . "Very much ."

"Good." Mika assents "Then I'm glad we had this conversation.."

"I am too Mrs. Seguchi." Ayaka says humbly.

"Ah ah. You can call me Mika now." Mika smiles slowly at her. "After all… we are to be sisters remember?"

Ayaka manages a nervous smile back.

At that moment, Tohma walks in, clad in his ringleader like costume, resplendent in top hat and furs.

How did he do that? Ayaka thinks bewilderedly, how is it possible that someone with such an ostentatious appearance, could enter in a place so imperceptibly, yet so drastically change the atmosphere when finally noticed?

"Hello Miss. Usumi." The elegant man nods at them both and speaks in his peculiar sounding voice that despite its softness manages to fill a room. " Hello Mika."

" Tohma." Mika then gestures to him. "Would you like to sit down with us for a moment?"

" I wish I could but I am afraid I cannot. I'm only up here for a short time, to retrieve an item of interest." The older man answers. " I have already gotten it. I regret to inform you but I must cancel our dinner plans together Mika."

"Oh Tohma? Really? I made these reservation some time ago, and they were not easy to get ." Mika purrs testily. "You shouldn't have told me like this, and not on such short notice."

"I do apologize." Tohma murmurs. "We will have to rearrange our schedule for next time."

"I can't. It's a one time event. I don't want to cancel, but it is a prestigious set dinner designed for two . And who can I get to come now on such short notice?" Mika huffs.

"May I make a suggestion? Why don't you go with Miss. Usumi instead?" Tohma inquires gently. "If she has no plans?"

To Ayaka's surprise, Tohma turns to face her.

"I would be very grateful to you if you accompanied my wife to dinner." Tohma smiles politely.

Ayaka gapes back.

"Oh Tohma." Mika chided him . "Don't do that. Let the poor girl speak for herself. "

Tohma only gives Mika a sideways knowing look.

In turn, Mika looks even more annoyed at him.

Ayaka gawks at the both of them.

"Very well then. I'll ask her." Mika turns to directly face Ayaka.

" Would you like to have dinner with me tonight Ayaka ? That is, if you have not eaten yet " Mika's tone softens. "As my husband cannot make it seems."

Ayaka glances up at Tohma.

Tohma seems to give her a subtle nod.

Ayaka croaks. "I haven't eat yet… and I'm… quite hungry. So I would… love to….have dinner with you."

"Then it is settled… I will leave you ladies to dine then." Tohma smiles and does a minute bow. "It was very nice to see you again Miss. Usumi."

"Likewise." Ayaka mumbles.

When he leaves, Tohma does look at or wave to Mika.

Mika doesn't wave either.

She does watch him leave though.

During which, the older woman is silent, tea cup raised before her mouth like a guard. Her expression is intent, rueful, if not near exasperated. If not a little secretive. Discontented.

Ayaka suddenly feels even more ashamed then before.

Probably Mika is sick of her being there. She was probably looking forward to that dinner with her husband as an escape.

Although the entire exchange between her and her husband was very odd.

Ayaka feels very confused. Not only is that her presence in their penthouse indicative of her failed purpose of this ill-begotten trek to Tokyo, she now feels she has witnessed something she hasn't supposed to see between Mika and Tohma Seguchi.

But what was Ayaka supposed to see?

Although, nothing was seemingly wrong with that brief bit of interaction .But weren't most married couple supposed to say goodbye to each other at least? And their talk of schedules and even having a dinner together seemed so formal…

Then again, Ayaka thinks, how can she assess anything about the intricacies of a husband wife relationship, or much about any relationships really- as demonstrated by her most recent behavior.

When Tohma is gone, Mika clears her throat.

"Well then. Dinner it is. We should get going . "

Ayaka glances down at her outfit.

"Oh … I just realized. But am I nicely dressed enough for this restaurant ? I don't know how fancy it is. " Ayaka picks at her skirt anxiously. "And it is nighttime…I'm just wearing my casual day clothes…"

To that, Mika appraises her up and down.

Ayaka suddenly feels very self-conscious

Finally, the older woman states. "Its fine. You can borrow one of my outfits ."

Before Ayaka can say anything else, Mika is standing up and gestures her to do the same.


	2. Chapter 2

Mika takes Ayaka to her walk-in closet.

Ayaka audibly gasps.

"Oh my goodness! You have such an incredible closet." The younger woman gawks. " Its like every girl's dream come true!"

Mika just glances at her.

'And this is just like sisters do … " Ayaka smiles reticently. "Borrow each other clothes right?"

"Yes. Perhaps." Mika swats a hand before them. "Go on. Pick whatever you like."

Ayaka turns in a clumsily quick circle to glance at the wall to wall of hanging intricate garments.

The last wall behind her is entirely composed of bizarre looking shoes.

"You do…seem to have a lot of black in your wardrobe. " Ayaka says, a bit deflated at what she's seeing.

Mila gives her another incredulous look for stating the obvious.

Black is not a color Ayaka usually wears or any dark color actually . She wears pale or bright hues, as that is what her family and others like her best in.

As she cannot even imagine adorning herself differently than she normally does, Ayaka peers at Mika for inspiration.

Mika, however, is wearing a entirely black ensemble. A choker, a corseted long sleeved dress , with a great deal of her cleavage exposed. Underneath that leather leggings, and knee-high boots with a cringingly high and narrow heel.

Mika looks striking as she is, but if she ever wore a such thing, Ayaka thinks, she'd probably be laughed out of town. If she didn't faint from the discomfort from wearing it first. The shoes alone make her toes near curl and bleed with sympathy.

"Yes? What ?" Mika crosses her arms.

"This … this may sound very silly but.. ." Ayaka averts her eyes away, trying to think of a polite and believable excuse. "I think… you're… too beautiful to be my sister. No one would believe we were ever related and… your clothes are far too stylish for someone .. So simple like me…. so thank you for the offer, but I don't think I… can … wear… your clothes"

"That does sound silly." Mika scoffs. "If you can't pick something out for yourself, then I will."

She reaches into one section of the closet.

Ayaka braces herself for the worst.

She pulls out a simple green dress with billowing sleeves.

Ayaka tilts her head in surprise.

Out of everything she's seen around her, this garment looks the most pleasant and comfortable.

"Here. You should wear this." The older woman instructs as she hands Ayaka the hanger. " This dark green would look good with your complexion and your hair."

Ayaka frowns as she takes it and studies it further. While the top half is quite modest and wearable , the bottom half is cut quite short.

"Do you have a problem?" Mika asks.

"No. Its very nice but. " Ayaka struggles. "But isn't it a bit…revealing?

"No. " Mika replies. "It's mid thigh length and has long sleeves. "

"Yes but… its off one of the shoulders. " Ayaka mumbles." And I don't… normally show my … uh… mid-thigh area..."

" Then I'll give you some opaque leggings if modesty concerns you, but I am sure I won't have to. The dress should also be longer on you as you're shorter than I am... As for the shoulder, we can pin it if necessary." Mika clears her throat impatiently. "Alright?"

Ayaka nods sheepishly. "Oh… A-alright. If you think so."

"You can change in the powder room." Mika instructs her then steps back. "Would you excuse me just a moment."

The older woman leaves Ayaka standing blankly there, dress limp in her hands.

Mika shuts the door behind her, saunters through the whole apartment, slides out onto her balcony and slams the door behind her.

She yanks out her cell phone out of her bra and makes a call.

When its picked up, Mika hisses accusingly into the receiver . "How could you ?!"

She hears her brother's emotionless voice reverberate through the line. "Could I what."

"Take Ayaka to that concert to watch your lover-du-jour perform?! She t_old_ me what you did to her Eiri. " Mika grits. "And all I kept thinking what the hell is matter with you?"

Her brother says nothing to that.

Mika continues hastily into the receiver. "You're just lucky, I didn't have long to talk - since I had to pick her up, and I can't talk long now- or else I'd really let you have it!"

She can hear Eiri click his lighter and inhale a cigarette. "You mean you haven't gotten rid of Ayaka yet."

"Why would I want to get rid of her? I'm very concerned about her. Ayaka is just crushed over this. Ofcourse. What you did was unnecessarily cruel . Even for you."

"Was it."

"Yes! Honestly, you're old enough to know better now! I should expect more from you-"

Eiri interrupts. "No you shouldn't . And Ayaka had to learn sometime .What better way than the direct approach?"

"Direct approach?! You pulverized the poor girl's heart and you mortified her , when she was already vulnerable- "

"You mean I mortified you?"

"This has _nothing_ to do with me Eiri. This is about _your_ behavior, which was more demeaning and damaging to yourself than anyone else. Do you know how you look right now?"

"No. And I don't give a damn."

"You should give a damn. You look like a complete bully and jerk. Which I am inclined to believe! You manipulated Ayaka and _used_ her as a tool to reaffirm your … affair with that … frivolous boy!"

"I simply invited Ayaka to watch Bad Luck perform and she accepted my invitation. So if what you say is true, Ayaka came as my willing tool then. But is that why you're angry? That she's not your tool instead?"

"What is that supposed to mean?! " Mika exclaims angrily. "And the reason Ayaka accepted your mean-spirited invitation is because she would do anything for you. The poor girl would probably jump off a bridge if you asked her to!"

"Is that so?' She hears Eiri exhale. " Could I ask her to tie you and Tohma to her when she does it?"

"Do you think this is funny? This is a girl's future we're talking about here. How can you be so heartless?! Ayaka is very hurt by what you did. She was crying all the way during the drive and broke down sobbing hysterically here too-"

" Ayaka would probably do the same if her ice-cream cone melted. The girl's just upset at being cut down to size. She'll get over it soon enough."

"What grounds do you have to say that?"

"I don't need to say anything. " Eiri says matter-of-factly over the line. "Her behavior speaks volumes. This Miss. Ayaka may be from a good family and by proxy well-connected, but she, by herself, has no value at all. All that she's got going for her is her family name, and clearly all that 'good breeding' has only amounted to her becoming a stupid human chess piece for everyone else to batter around, and a petulant pill with no sense… except a sense of entitlement."

"No she isn't . " Mika argues desperately. "You got a bad first impression. Ayaka is a kind, caring and sensitive girl- who's just been very stressed and frazzled lately. You …haven't gotten to know her yet, and its not fair to meet under these circumstances. And all she wants a chance to get to know you!"

'But I don't want to get to know her and I never will. I've had more than my fill, and from what I've seen, I don't think this Ayaka is capable of knowing what she wants . Or of knowing anything. "

"I think you and her have a lot in common then Eiri."

"What does that mean?"

"Do I have to explain with your recent antics! You're with a different woman every night and all of a sudden … you've decided you're gay now?!"

" Yes. That's how it happens. I woke up one morning and decided I was _gay. _Mostly to piss you off. What are you going to say next? That its unnatural, disgusting or that it's a phase I'll grow out of? What's the next step , I'm already in therapy, so will it be shock treatment? Or shall we go immediately onto the coercive cover-up marriage? "

"Please Eiri. All I'm saying… you've struggled with a lot of … personal issues in the past. Given everything you dealt with… it is possible that you're not well right now or confused or… insecure about yourself - and I'd hate for anyone to take advantage of that. "

"Like Ayaka is too, you mean? And sensing her insecurity and confusion, you seized an opportunity to take advantage of her . So why don't just you cut the shit Mika." Eiri's voice darkens over the line. "Do you think I care about her feelings? Or that _you _care about her or anyone? "

" I do care. That's why I'm calling you right now. "

" Well, if you care so much for Ayaka ,why don't you actually go take care of her then. That will give you something else to do besides harass me."

"That is what you're think I'm doing? Harassing you?"

"Harassment is an understatement for what you're doing. So I suggest you go find another replacement plaything for yourself - Ayaka Usumi should do nicely, as you already toyed with her enough."

"That's quite a statement, given what you just did to her!"

"What I did was a mercy. At least I was upfront with her. " Eiri snaps. "Not like you were. If you actually cared about Ayaka, you wouldn't have set her up like a mark , and pushed her forward like cannon fodder to try and impede my relationship."

"I didn't sent for her Eiri!" Mika snarls. " Ayaka sought you out of her own volition !"

"Yeah, I'm sure she did." Mika can hear Eiri's sneer. " I'm sure she arranged herself to be my fiancée too."

Mika near growls with frustration but restrains herself.

"And you know what the most _disgusting_ part about all this is ? " Eiri continues. "Knowing you, I bet you're still manipulating Ayaka right now . You're still leading her on ,and making her think she might have a chance."

"She has more than a chance." Mika asserts. "Whether you want to acknowledge it or not, she is your rightful fiancée!"

"Whether I acknowledge or not? What the hell are Ayaka and I- your dolls in your playhouse? Or am I now unaware that we have we all been transported back into feudal times?" The younger man huffs. " I can't even believe we, two mentally fit adults, are even having this conversation."

"Neither can I, and I really don't know how mentally fit you are Eiri, especially with your latest behaviors. I'm very worried and I only want what's best for your welfare."

"And how are you doing that? By trying to guilt trip me and make it seem like I'm insane unreasonable one here? Don't waste your time because your ploys won't work . But I wonder, how are you going to con Ayaka into clinging to her sad deluded hopes? Are you going to befriend her? Become her confidant? Get her to feel sympathy for you? Or are you going 'the concerned and caring older sister ' route?"

Mika falls angrily silent.

" I knew it . Ha. You're so predictable." Her brother says. "That's why I called you to pick Ayaka up, as I do know how you like to keep busy. "

Mika realizes after a moment.

" Oh… You preempted me didn't you?!" Mika clenches her teeth. " You told Tohma to come to the penthouse personally and cancel our dinner plans, and push her on my hands instead!"

"Yes. Now the shoe's on the other foot and let the mind games begin. Whether I did that or not, I think its be better to keep Ayaka with you. Better _for me _that is. Otherwise you would have canceled your dinner with Tohma , and come over to disturb my peace. That and seeing that Ayaka a mess, I think you should try and clean up the results of your own handiwork."

"You mean of your handiwork!" Mika snaps into her phone.

" I can't take all the credit. Not when you set this up to blow up in everyone's face. You concocted this vile idea against my will, and implanted this seed in her mind, and now you're just frustrated she came not when summoned and threw your perfect plan into disorder. So you deal with the fallout. Ayaka is your problem now and not mine. You explain to her mother and father what you did to their daughter. I hope you're very happy now you've disappointed a whole other family. "

"Oh my god. Is that it?! Is this all some big ruse, to hurt me through rejecting Ayaka?! But your ploys won't work either!" Mika breathes hard. " Fine. You want me to admit it Eiri ? Then I will. Ayaka could cry until she croaks for all I care. Yes I'm only using her! Yes, she's only a means to an end . Yes, I could give a shit about her or her family and I could just as easily find some other spoiled rich girl for you ! Does it make _you _happy to hear that?"

"…. No."

"Its _you_ I care about! You're my little brother and you're always my top priority. I just want to ensure there'll always be someone to take care of you and provide you what you need , incase something should happen to me or Tohma. And if it did, tell me, do you really think you can honestly rely on some …spacey pink-haired boy who 's not particularly intelligent and has a even more uncertain future ?"

In response, Eiri's voice sounds strange. Subdued. "…I belong to him. "

"Really Eiri?" Mika laughs bitterly. " You ? Belong to him? What is this, one of your absurd romance books?! You can't tell me you seriously… _in love _with that man-child, are you?"

"…"

"See. Even you can't say it , can you? " Mika says haughtily." You just met the guy- and you're both children! You have no idea what you're doing. Furthermore do you realize what you have with this boy could derail everything you worked so hard for these past few years? Do you think being … different or gay is something to take flippantly? Do you realize, that even in this supposed day and age, you're choosing a much harder road for yourself. Because just by being who you are, you will toss yourself immediately down the societal ladder. When people find out...People will _look _at you differently. They will talk about you differently. And laugh at you. They will _treat _you differently, and how people perceive your orientation- as something aberrant, abnormal or disgusting, will permeate every . Single Thing, You .Do. You'll find out just how hard life can be and then you'll see. You'll regret it. And what future is there really? Do you realize you can't even get legally married with your partner? Not to mention what will it do to the family, the potential scandal , and how it will affect your career! "

Eiri is finally quiet.

"So you have to admit the truth - I didn't make these rules but I'm just looking at reality. I'm doing this for your own good-" Mika starts.

"_Liar."_

"What."

"You are such a _liar _Mika. " Eiri growls. "If you cared about me, you wouldn't be belittling me, trying to undermine my relationships and coercing me into a ridiculous arrangement."

"So what do you think I'm doing then? What is this all about if not for you?"

"No. Its for you. It always has been. You're the only person you've ever really cared about."

"And you call me the liar? When you know more than anyone, I have sacrificed everything for this family-"

"Yes. You've sacrificed everything. Including me." Eiri's voice is bleak, angry." You've always been so selfish manipulative and destructive. Just look at yourself. You even have lips like blood. You're a psychic vampire - a person who is so dead and hollow inside, the only way they can sustain themselves or feel important is by hurting and feeding off the blood of the living . And those who are too weak and impressionable to fend you off, get bled dry to the dregs. And as more time goes by, you only get worse."

'"Because _you've _gotten worse Eiri." Mika cries. "With all the drinking and smoking- and god knows what else, and those user women, and now this…dumb naive kid! It's a disaster waiting to happen, we all know it! And I don't want to see you get hurt again-"

"Oh so you're going to play that card? That's a pretty low blow , even for you . But I get it Mika. You feel like you've gotten a raw deal out of life. Maybe you have. But who hasn't? And frankly I think mine was a lot worse."

Mika audibly swallows.

"So yeah, you took care of me and Tatsuha. You did the 'proper thing' and 'sacrificed ' yourself for us all, like what was expected of you, so now you think I owe you . You think because you were used , now its your turn to use somebody and maybe you will, but it just won't be me. You think that because you've suffered, now you get the right to direct my life and take the moral high ground as you do it? But you don't. I don't owe you a damn thing. I know you realized what a lousy deal you made, and now you're bitter about your wasted numbing life, but sorry that's not my fault_." _Eiri says bitterly. "But because you're so unhappy, you think everyone else has to live a lie too and be as cowardly and miserable as you are -"

"I didn't marry Tohma out of cowardice or because it was _proper_." Mika cajoles. "I did it to take care of you Eiri, because there was nothing else I could do except that! I did it to take care of this entire family!"

"And look how well that turned out." Eiri hisses" You should be so proud of yourself."

Mika puts a hand over her eyes.

The younger man continues dourly. "And don't say you did it because of me. Don't blame me for your own weakness. I have enough guilt as it is. That you know about."

"I… don't care what you feel about yourself Eiri. I do _love_ you . Tohma and I both do more than anything. " Mika urges "And we will always love you and be here for you if you need us."

A groan of disgust blares across the line.

"Damnit Mika!" Her brother snarls." When will just you stop this… Every time I talk to you , it just puts me in more pain!"

"You don't think I'm hurting too?! Mika snarls back. "I've been hurting everyday since it happened-"

But Eiri has already hung up.

"Shit." Mika hisses to herself.

She takes several deep breath and attempts to recompose herself .

It was a mistake to call Eiri Mika thinks, when she knew it would only upset herself and him.

Then why did she do it then?

Mika does not know. She never knows.

When she sticks her phone back into her bra , leaves the balcony and returns to the powder room, Ayaka is still sitting , unaware, at her makeup table.

The younger woman is now adorned in her green dress , but it looks much different on Ayaka than it does on herself. It looks more casual, girlish, unpretentious.

She is relieved that Ayaka forewent the opaque leggings as the dress does look long enough on her.

Ayaka has her own purse seated on her lap. She is applying some blush, having already put on some mascara. She hardly needs either.

However Ayaka is so resolute and transfixed in the act of applying it, she does not Mika's presence for at least a minute.

'Oh…"Ayaka utters when she notices her at last.

"Your purse won't match what you're wearing now" Mika states, without exposition. "Would you like to borrow a handbag?"

"No thank you… it won't be necessary." Ayaka murmurs.

Ignoring her, Mika goes back to her closet and brings back a black leather bag that still has the stuffing and tag on it.

She puts it into Ayaka's hands.

"No. No. I couldn't use that." Ayaka shakes her head. "This is so lovely , new… and very expensive."

"It doesn't matter. You can keep it." Mika sighs.

"No I couldn't!"

"Yes. You could." Mika thinks, it's the least she can do. " It doesn't matter to me. I have so many bags already and it was a free gift."

"Really? " Ayaka stares at it confoundedly. "It was?"

"Yes I went to their fashion's house dinner and cocktail. They allowed their VIPs to choose a free bag as a promotion." Mika explains.

A little known fact, Mika is, despite her image and the money at her disposal, a secret spend thrift. She takes personal pride in not paying more than she has to. Most of her things, Mika does not have to pay for at all.

Being an 'socialite' , Mika consumes herself in what she would have rather brained herself than do in her younger days. She is busy but accomplishes nothing, her life an endless succession of small talk, parties,intelligence-insulting gossip, attempts of out dressing each other , dinners, lunches, 'charity' functions, showrooms, hotels, ball rooms, private clubs, tea-rooms, auctions, high end bars, gallerias and shopping . Therefore Mika's phone, cosmetics, handbags, accessories, perfume, skin care etc. she receives freely through her constant round of going to various luxury dinners, PR shop openings, and cocktails via their gift bags, samples and 'courtesy previews and presents'.

Never mind how horribly forgettable, boring and similar these events were and that she couldn't stand most of all the ghastly people there. By the end of the night, at least Mika walked away with the brief satisfaction having acquired a few tens of thousands of dollars worth of free things . (Now more things than she knew what to do with.)

That's why the price of the luxury items were so high for the people who did pay for them, Mika thought dryly, to cover the cost of giving the items freely given to useless 'celebrities' and 'people of interest' like her. How sad.

Ayaka stares pleadingly at her. "I don't… know what to say."

"Then say thank you." Mika commands

Ayaka then says softly . "Thank you Ms. Seguchi."

After a moment, Mika sighs."You're welcome."

It's nice to hear a thank you now and then. And one that sounds halfway sincere almost too.

As the girl transfers her scattered belongings into her new bag, she asks. "So how … do you think I look ? Tell me truthfully. "

Mika tells her truthfully. " You look much better."

"No… I don't. I know you're just saying that to be kind to me . Like by giving me this new bag. " Ayaka smiles weakly. " You see I … don't wear make up very often. Except mascara and a little blush sometimes….I'm glad I didn't wear any today , or else I would have cried it all off…. So I thought I might put some on, just to make myself feel a little better."

The younger woman proceeds to rifle through her new purse again.

"For some reason, I can't find any of my lip products. " Ayaka asks timidly. "Do you …have any other lipstick or lip gloss I can borrow, in a pink or nude color maybe?"

"No I don't. "Mika states. "I'm not a _g_loss wearer, and I never wear pink."

Ayaka observes. "But you…are wearing some red lipstick now. "

" Yes." Mika affirms. "I only wear red ."

Ayaka looks amazed by that. "Why ?"

"It what I prefer." The older woman answers . "So why would I have anything else?"

Ayaka's amazement looks unaltered.

"Heh." Mika near smiles, inspite of everything. "Do you find that hard to believe?"

"I'm surprised that is all. I…do think that's …quite unusual. " Ayaka says tentatively. "At home…most of the girls I know buy a thousand color different lipstick and glosses, but only end up using a few of them, or trying them out once. The rest just… lie there, waiting to be used… or never get used at all."

Ayaka then frowns at her reflection. "What do you think that's says about girls who do that?"

Mika looks at her pointedly.

"I have no idea."

They look at each other again.

Mika then says. "Lets get going. We don't want to be late"


End file.
